Did you know that up to 90% of illness and disease is stress-related? Heart disease is the #1 killer in America and it’s caused mainly by stress.
Um, I thought this article was going to talk about overcoming fear. Yes! You can scroll down to see the steps, but first..
Where does our stress come from? The short answer is Fear.
We feel stress when we fear something bad will happen to us.
Long ago, it was fear of a saber-tooth tiger chasing us that stressed us out. But once we were able to run away, the stress was gone.
Today, the fear is more psychological than physical. (What if I don’t finish this project in time? What if I don’t pass the exam? What if she leaves me? What if they don’t like me because…? All the what if’s!)
And instead of feeling fear during a 20 minute imminent threat episode, most people feel this fear and anxiety on a regular basis. This is why the alcohol, tobacco, and pharmaceutical companies will never run out of money. Because their products put a nice, temporary bandaid on our fears and anxieties.
So what do we do if we want to decrease our stress so that we’re not another statistic with a stress-related illness? The question isn’t how do we get rid of stress?
The question is: What do we fear that is causing this stress? What is the deeper reason behind the fear? Where does it stem from? Let’s take a deeper dive…
Deep Dive into Fear
Fear – when do we feel it?
When we don’t feel safe, or think we won’t be safe in a situation.
Here are some common root fears:
- Not having food/shelter
- Being hurt by something (animal) or someone
- Fear of the unknown – not knowing what can happen – will I get hurt?
- Fear of being ridiculed, not being good enough, not knowing enough or having enough
If we try to get to the root of it all, we fear being hurt in some way. Either physically, emotionally, or egoically. And we try to do whatever we can to not experience this hurt.
Let’s zoom out and examine our fears from a wider perspective.
Having a decent amount of healthy fear is good. It keeps us alive. We just can’t allow it to take over our lives and hold us back, or give it the power to make us ill.
So examine your fears. What are they? Where did they stem from?
Where does your fear of being ridiculed, of looking stupid in front of others, of not being good enough- come from? Did your parents make you feel this way? Is it because we’re social beings and want to fit into a group, so there’s a fear of being outcast? Valid.
Do you fear not having enough money? Not having enough to provide for you and/or your family? Valid. We all need food and shelter.
Your fears are valid to an extent. But do they hold you back from living life? Are you afraid to do certain things because you’re afraid you might get hurt or rejected? Are you afraid to go to new places because the people and environment are unfamiliar to you? Are you constantly worrying about the what if’s?
These are questions to ask if you really want to dig into your fears. To understand them more, so that you can release them. Or at least ease up the level of fear. There are just certain things that you don’t have to waste your energy fearing.
My favorite saying when I’m scared to do something is, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
In order to keep your fears at a healthy (and by healthy, I mean low) level, it takes some facing of the fears. It takes some digging deeper within to find the root cause. And some pulling back out to gain a wider perspective, so you can see how you can dissolve some of these fears.
Steps to Overcome Your Anxiety & Fears
I. Acknowledge the Fear
Some people have a hard time admitting what they really fear. It may feel embarrassing, like it’s a sign of weakness, a blow to the ego. Being able to acknowledge any issue that we need to work on is a big step. It shows that we are ready to move past our ego and grow.
II. Describe the Fear
When does it arise? In what situations do you feel it? What does the fear feel like in your body?
III. Effects of the Fear
How does this fear affect you and your life?
IV. Origin of the Fear
Where does this fear stem from? Do you recall early memories of when you first started feeling this fear?
V. Question the Fear
Does it makes sense why you have this fear? Most of the time, there is a reason why you have this fear. The deeper question is: Does it makes sense to still be carrying this fear? What would my life be like if I no longer carried this fear?
VI. Face the Fear
If carrying the fear no longer makes sense, if your life would be better without this fear, then it’s time to face it.
What does that mean? This depends on the fear and the person. Only you can figure out how to truly face & dissolve your fear. The biggest hurdle was to actually get to this point of wanting to overcome it. Once you have that intention set for yourself, you may need to sit in stillness and ask (your Higher Self, the Universe, God) how you can do this.
Maybe it’s exploring the question, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Maybe it’s to actually do the damn thing…to be with the discomfort of your fear, to keep facing it, until you break through.
Conclusion
Each time you dive a little deeper into your fears, you understand it more. Each time you’re willing to face your fear, you grow more. The fear will not disappear overnight, but if you continuously face it, you’ll eventually come to know it for what it is…and usually it’s nothing to fear.
In the meantime, learning techniques to calm your anxiety can help as you take that step to face and overcome your fear.